November 27, 2014 to November 27, 2015.
“It was the best of times, worst of times; it was life.” and so here’s an ode (and a post) to (for) you dear 18.
My dear eighteen,
The most valuable lessons and experiences in life are learnt and gained (respectively) in the toughest of times, and you, my ‘finally-adult’ one, were the worst. Sorry if I was rude, but you know that too. You were simply awful.
You were worse than the year in which dad had a stroke, and I saw his left side cease to function for a couple of days.
You were worse than the year in which we had to leave town for a couple of days and the 6 year old me was confused why.
Yes, I hate you. To the core. But as much as I hate you, I’m thankful to God that YOU HAPPENED to me. And I’m glad that I went through the things I did. Because I, the person I was, was NOT ready for those, at all. And you, by showing me those, have prepared me for tougher times ahead which I may face in about the next 47 years (considering the average life expectancy in India in 66 years).
I thank you (kind of), because you made me learn how to deal with loss. You showed me that even after somebody dies, you can still keep learning about them, their life. It can keep unfolding itself to you just as long as you pay attention to it.
I thank you, because you made me feel the first-crush feeling again. Scratching my head with a wide silly grin when she’d walk into the room would make me realise that life is mesmerising and people can move you without words too.
I thank you, because you taught me how to deal with failure and confusion. Flunking an exam is never easy, and flunking probably the most important one you’re appearing for is obviously not. Dealing with that was no cake walk, and confusion was bound to set in. But, dear one, you made me realise, that overthinking, won’t help, ever.
I thank you, so much, for giving me people, I didn’t know could/ do exist until I talked to them. You showed me how people can slide a finger smoothly over your mind and soul, even if they live in an another hemisphere. I could consider that the ‘best of times’ about you. If I used the maximin strategy, this would be it.
I thank you, because you showed me that blood, is not always thicker than water. And that the world, in the end, is all about money. You showed me that along with my own academics, I can help someone else with theirs too. And becoming a teacher, I understood why you have been so harsh to me.
A lot happened in the 365 days that you existed in my life, and now, you hand over to nineteen a brand new ‘me’, a ‘me’ I never thought that I could (ever) be. A ‘me’ who is not exactly like the ‘me’ I was on 27/11/14. I hate you eighteen, I abso-friggin-lutely do, but YOU are the year that I’ll be most thankful to. You TRULY made me an adult (who would still laugh at childish jokes and 69 [LOL])
Yes eighteen, “It was the best of times, worst of times; it was life.” And now, as I reach the end of this nearly 500-word long letter, I’m starting to wonder, what time you were.
To you, Eighteen, the year I learnt. To you, nineteen, the year I look forward to now.
[PS: The lines in italics are quotes from a movie]